Monday, September 28, 2009

Working Title

hi, all. it's been quite awhile for me. so, hello to those i've missed. this is some work on the short novel that I am working on with the help of Ellen. I am trying to work on one scene at a time, hopefully allowing for some clarity and increased productivity. Anyway, I truly hope all is well.

...warmly.



There’s one big room with a red iron bed beneath two identical windows, fashioned brightly with slabs of stained glass suctioned in the center. In the bomb of golden dawn, colored armies of light move in tango across the floor approaching the far end of the room near the tall and strong wooden door. Before that, is a kitchen table—big enough to seat four—and a mild-mannered kitchen with a gas stove that hasn’t been updated in many years and one of those white or pale blue icebox refrigerators that has a steel clamp instead of a handle. A simple wood, craftsman’s chair is pushed in beneath the desk. The desktop is messy, yet manageable, and has noticeable use. There’s an old Smith & Corona safely inside it’s clumsy black carrying case, a rusty soup can full of black pens and sharpened pencils, a matchbook, two perfect pink erasers, abandoned paper clips, bent push pins, all his lucky pennies, and a scrap of newspaper with a familiar number drawn into the upper right corner. The three all moved around the space called a kitchen. Mr. Clemons, a man of his late sixties and many, many years of abuse sat at the table in his chair that faced the windows dealing a game of solitaire. His wife, the sweet Gloria, had come from the bedroom, wrapped in a white linen towel. She came up behind Thomas and, who sat across from Mr. Clemons—tired and buried in his own warm and pulsing flesh—kissed him lightly on his forehead. Mr. Clemons, who had been involved in his game, looked up and smiled with an empty mouth. Gloria went over to the sink and snatched the cup, cleaning his dentures, and placed them on the table in front of him. It always took him some time to get the damn things in his mouth. But, when he did, most would probably wish that he hadn’t.

He looked over at Thomas, still lost and sad. The game of solitaire had been beat. His record time was fifty-three seconds and he’s spent every morning for fifteen years trying to top it. When he opened his mouth for the first time after popping his teeth in, it took a second for them to adjust. His morning words were slurred and slow, but no one ever had any trouble hearing the words even if they had a little difficulty understanding.

Pushing back his chair, he spoke, “Better keep two eyes on those toes,” waving a wise finger at the raw and beaten feet that dragged in delicate sweeps along the rough and grainy floor, piling invisible dust into small piles like some child sentenced to the chore of raking yard leaves. Thomas was tall and too skinny and always wore a white cotton shirt that blossoms, as it fills with air, around a waist no more in width than a young tree.

“Huh?” Thomas said, confused and disinterested, still sweeping the floor. From time to time he picked splinters from the balls of his feet. His finger nails worked like the end of a hammer.

“Your toes, kid—they’re curling. I’m telling ya,”

“What about my toes?” He said.

“They’re curling,” he said.

“So?” He said.

“Rub some lotion on ‘em,” he said.

“What?” He said.

“All I am sayin’ is you should rub some lotion on your toes. It could mean—mean something is ending,” he said.

“Hell. What would my toes have to do with that anyway?” He said.

“I’m just sayin’, kid. You gotta know these things, “ he said.

“Oh, honey. Leave the poor boy alone. You’re making him worried. Besides, it’s all funny talk anyway, “ She said.

“It’s not just funny talk, honey. There are plenty of fellas that would tell ya the same thing, “he said.

“Here, make him happy, “ she said, handing Thomas a small bottle of lotion.

“Make sure you get it all up between the toes. Really work it in. How 'bout some breakfast? I am so hungry my stomach is ‘bout to fall off,” he said.

“Alright. But please, please stop all this talk so early in the morning--or I’ll end the both of you,” she said.

“Yeah, yeah. Whip up some eggs and coffee, “ he said.

Excuse me?” She said.

Darling, could you please make us two men eggs and coffee?” He said.

“It will be ready soon,” she said.

The stove was getting hot. She had worked at a diner downtown after the war. There was always a bunch of bullish men who came in to see her. But she would say, "Only one Mr. Clemons." For a brief time, he had work with a construction company. It was hard labor. Nothing like war, though. Everyday at noon, he strolled into the diner with his yellow hard hat and sat at the long bar table. She would come from the kitchen. Her hands were full with plates and the place noisy with talk. But, as she saw him sitting at the far-end of the diner, her face would explode with happiness.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Quick Sketch

How strange it is,
To see you in the light;
Betrayed by those same shadows
You use to hide time
And the weight of guilt.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Pieces which could be fun to publish





Straus is a big fan of my dresses, but all the good photos were taken by photographer friends, and are thereby sort of their works of art and not mine. I have another friend who wants to do a photoshoot sometime soon, and I'm hoping I can use some of her shots for paintings.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Friendly Reminder

So today would be the 17th. Need some stuff to put on pages if pages are to be put in hands...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Greetings, fellow dreamers

I'm Sarah, an artist James invited to this intriguing collective. Although I expressed to him uncertainty on whether or not what I do would fit in with writings I felt might be of a deeper and more intellectual strain, he assured me I would be welcome. I haven't had the time to read everything which has already been posted here, but felt I was having an unusually eloquent moment and wanted to take advantage of it.

I'm a painter, striving to be an fantasy illustrator. In that, I find my paintings to mesh well with writing. I endeavor to create works that, while they may have a particular story to me as I'm creating them, are intended to inspire possible stories for others, rather than tell my own. I am delighted, infact, to have inspired as least two fantasy writers by some of my works (one very recently, whose whole face lit up as the ideas bloomed in his mind while gazing at three particular pieces). My middle-term goal is to illustrate book covers.

My current collection of works are, I feel, light-hearted, fun, cute or amusing pieces, a category which I'm planning to continue with for my next planned series of paintings (but from which I intend to deviate once the set is done, as one can't paint stuffed animals for very long before they are overdone and lose their charm).

I think it would be exceedingly fun, if you all wanted to include something of mine in your (our?) planned publication. Actually, I think it would be fantastic if there were even written pieces inspired by a painting to accompany them.

I'm not entirely sure what sorts of posts I might make that would be welcome here, as I already maintain a sketchblog of my own; although perhaps sketches would nicely accent the sorts of poems which are also "sketches" of a sort, rather than polished pieces.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

check it.

http://issuu.com/synthesis/docs/synthesis101_beta

its mostly empty at the moment, but it should give you an idea.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Disillusionment

I have been constantly reminded of something lately. At night, I find myself sitting and staring into the darkness of my window. There is a vibrance of quiet hustle, the snores of a city in eternal turning. I wish to be the noise, not the observer, and again and again I am brought back to this poem:

Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock by Wallace Stevens

The houses are haunted
By white night-gowns.
None are green,
Or purple with green rings,
Or green with yellow rings,
Or yellow with blue rings.
None of them are strange,
With socks of lace
And beaded ceintures.
People are not going
To dream of baboons and periwinkles.
Only, here and there, an old sailor,
Drunk and asleep in his boots,
Catches tigers
In red weather.

There is so much here. He knows the desire to part of it. He knows the ghosts that I see constantly: unaware peons of tribe praying to ego and irony. And all I wish to be, is a drunken old sailor, catching tigers in red weather.

Just a thought anyways.

The Infinite Present

So, I guess this would be the theoretical underpinning of what gets me out of bed in the morning, and will still be subject to serious revision as this is the first I have tried to put the whole thing into words.

Time is fictional construct of the conscious mind. It exists only in our perceptions of our moving environment, but even that is also suspect. Stasis is only a mirage, to prove this one only needs to increase or decrease their point of reference. The rock which has laid dormant for thousands of years is made up of atoms constantly moving, and is as well tied to the motions of the planet, the galaxy, and the universe. But, back to the original postulate. There is as much time in the second between this word and this one as there is in a millennium. They rely on a start and an end point, and uniform divisions made up of units derived from the perception of conscious minds. What I am trying to describe is the condition remaining when consciousness is stripped from the physical world, and thus we arrive at what I call the Infinite Present. The infinite present is ubiquitous throughout all of space. It is the constant motion resultant from the ever present force of gravity, which has no beginning and no end. Its amplitude is the result of collections of atoms, which will be further agglomerated or dispersed in the perpetual chaos of motion.

To digress into more human applications of these ideas, history is also a fictional construct, a side effect of conscious perception which prevents one from understanding that nothing has ceased to exist, its assemblage has merely metamorphosed into another assemblage that our consciousness tells us is different. I will try to explain it this way. Take for example a dinosaur bone you could find in the Smithsonian. It was the femur of a Tyrannosaurus, sure. But, it is also a collection of hydrocarbons which have changed their chemical composition to that of a rock. The only difference in this case is the perception of the object, which, if we as humans were not able to perceive anything, it would be nothing more than a group of atoms which are in constant motion and undergoing perpetual change.

To draw further conclusions from stripping ourselves of perception, and shift this discourse towards the realm of aesthetics, I will hereby declare that Post-Modernism has nothing from which to draw its theses as there is no history to reject, to experiment with; there is nothing to be a "Post" of outside the realm of individual perception. All of the infinite Universe, known, unknown, unknowable exists simultaneously, unceasingly fluctuating, and as such all "-isms" have merely been attempts to segment periods of time for the sake of classification. But where they have failed is in assuming they have broken from the past. Do they not exist side by side? Does St Peter's Cathedral only exist in 1626? No! It exists today, it exists now, and it only exists because we are able to perceive it. Without perception nothing would exist because it would be unknowable.

And lastly, to shift the final point to the matters of the spirit, I shall attempt to uncover the nature of existence in humanity. As I have stated prior, time is a construct arising from our conscious perception of motion. I have also tried to loosely describe the conditions of the physical environment, which would be atoms in constant flux. However, the interaction of the two creates something quite unique. As our consciousness is tied to the atoms and molecules which interact with our environments in order to allow us to continue to perceive our environment, and continue to interact with it, does our consciousness then cease to exist when our physical selves have been consumed into something else? Is it possible for one human to exist separated from the perception of every other human? When they have died, what then? Did they exist, but they were imperceptible and thus unknowable? In order to answer this question I will have to delve into the realm of Time which I have tried thus far to disprove:

We exist in perceived durations of time. For a short while, we are able to perceive ourselves, others, and our environment. We are conscious. However, there will be an end, and as such it is my belief that in order to ensure the continued existence of our spirit, we transcribe ourselves into more durable physical objects, we build tremendous Basilicas to be perceived long after our bodies have been reconstituted, so that we may exist in Time as we no longer exist in space. However, at some point amidst the chaos, and at some point in perceived Time, no human will be conscious, and barring the recognition by another conscious species, we will cease to exist.

This is why I rise in the mornings, to act.

Some Thoughts

So, I'm just going to take up a couple replies right here. First, Shane I think you've pretty much got it covered [its still personal anyways, my interpretation following soon will probably be much different, although similar?]. James, glad to see you're doing something other than just dumping your entire opus here... And no, I won't be coming back for some time unless I find my way back for graduate school. Video conferences could work, I'll defer that for another post.

As far as the hard evidence of this is concerned, what I'm thinking is that if everyone gets me some place holders or some finished stuff, I can throw together a layout over the weekend and put it up on issuu.com or yudu.com [check them out, they're fairly interesting websites] for people to take a look at. November 1 looks like it could be very feasible, if not sooner. After that its just a matter of ordering a couple of copies to pass around. I really like the idea of getting some sheet music in here, you've got 25 days. Make it happen.

response

I must admit that I was not present for the initial discussions of synthesis, but have been at the peripherals for a while. The following passages are taken from a novel that I am writing that seem to fit somewhat into what I have taken from the synthesis posts. I think perhaps they describe the generation that synthesis was born out of more than anything else. If I am way off-base, please feel free to show me the err of my ways and help me better understand our goal here. 

It is said that technology has opened the lines of communication and brought us closer together, but we have never been so confused. In a period of cultural homogenization and a de-emphasis of traditional family structures, children are raised by daycares, dates have been replaced with casual sex, and conversations are held through text messages. We have no wars or causes to rally behind; our only enemy is boredom. From birth we are spoon-fed directions and warnings and instructions. Our futures are planned to the T and free-will seems to be a forgotten myth. Every day we learn something new will give us cancer. Some file into line. Some rebel. Some self-destruct because to them even pain is better than the bleak mediocrity. Despite all this, we all still have some common drive—some common element put in place by the world we were raised in. Even in this state of disarray, we are together in it.   In light of our controlled chaos, it seems to me that creation is a tricky notion. Like truth it is relative. We cannot simply will something into existence out of thin air. If you believed in God, maybe he could, or did at some point. It is much more likely however, that all of the elements that we could ever use in life have always existed, and will always exist in some degree, and that "creation" is simply arranging those elements in a previously undiscovered yet still rational order. We take bits and pieces, like a child collects wildflowers to make a bouquet, and call that creation. Occasionally we forget that we are the flowers as well, and are picked by others. By all means it is a terribly difficult process, but let's not go around conceiving of ourselves as Gods. 

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

From the first Borders Bards Event in Braintree

Here is a poem Will has seen, and something I read at my poetry/prose reading at my job, Borders.


If I could tell you
the way your eyelids
blink and shudder
a late night stutter
of romantic thoughts,
you would stare at me and smile
(considering me crazy all the while)
and blushing, eventually retreat.

The mind will natively mutter
a thousand humble hushing flutters
to any of you, the noble sweet,
down mass ave, through newbury street.

If I had known from the start
that we are tiny, coddled clams
each holding hiding hearts,
might I lose my hues
or make a home
-a shell for two?

Times They Are A-Changin'

I know I haven't made any serious posts on here besides my work yet, but now I am. Mike, if you could email me a copy of the print I'd love it. I did a reading at one of the places I work and it went pretty well. My bosses family was impressed anyways. I was thinking that it would be fantabulous if maybe I helped Will transcribe one of his songs to sheet music and add that another random piece of art (I may have privately mentioned this idea before and still support it). Will is an amazing guitarist and I'd love to see the sheet music for say, "I Want War", to appear in there. Assuming he has the patience to let me transcribe it, heh. I know I want my "Blue Bell Booth" piece in there. I also made some small edits to that, so if anyone wants to check it out and see if they see any improvements from them or if its the same I'd appreciate it. I think beyond all the work we're submitting for this we need to jointly write our professional-ish concepts of what we all view the synthesis movement as, or at least anyone who wants to play a key role. I know Will, Mike, and myself certainly would. We have been writing tidbits about it on here, but lets push for something really intense/descriptive because to someone not in know I think its partially confusing.

We should talk about how for example its not like certain things like post-modernism; which is that synthesis tries to state things as they ARE not as they are LIKE. This is to say that post modernism is still trying to relate this to that, even if its trying to say a bicycle describes the lymphatic system (which maybe its cyclical turning truly does!). Post modernism is the fourier transformation of movements/genres. Synthesis is the acceptance that nothing is as it seems, and everything is as well. Synthesis is Heisenberg uncertainty principle of concept and art and literature. It is born from a generation that is on information overload as Microsoft would say, but adaptable as the grey goo that will born from the technological singularity. It is the new transcendentalism of the time, born from its original homeland (New England) without the necessity of the divine. We are jumbled, coagulating, dispersing, collections of atoms. At the same time we hearts and minds and soul striving and empathizing and simply living. It is so subtle that taking the time to realize it is a feat. We are free thinkers and we are those believe that there will always be a choice, because inaction is still an action. We are not one area, or one person: we are a world in its wholeness, and further more we accept this without doubt or even caution. We are balls of effervescent fury and motion.

All possibilities are real. We are infinite for occupy our own time and space in life. Infinity itself is the homeostasis of the body of existing. For all we know, we are not life using technology, but technology toying with life. From energy to matter to energy, we are transcendental without going anywhere. Yet this does not overwhelm us, nor why would it? People exist constantly with a thousand things racing through minds, and I have Einstein to thank for reminding the world of its relativity. To space. To time. To feeling. To you and me and neither of us. One person tells me Martin Luther King was a miracle man, and another says a plagiarist and adulterer. They argue pointlessly because they are both right, but their supreme arrogance blocks either from realizing this. But we realize this, and that is why we come together, because we realize that there is no such thing as good or bad, there just is things, matter, life. There are no real perversions in life, only many differences at once, keeping balance- apoptosis and birth. We can just as ebonic as grammatical, for nothing can truly deny another thing in the realm of the mind. Truth is merely 99% popular belief. One man's red is another man's blue is another woman's light quatum at the angle of incidence.

The point of this and the way its written is the same point in minimalism in contemporary classical music: through repetition, a deeper understanding of the melody is born out, a more precise and hopefully equally intriguing and pleasurable. A harmony of metaphors to benefit the reader is my goal. I was not actually intending to write this all when I started, but I'm curious what you all think. Lets have another group meeting as soon as possible. Maybe since your not here Mike (unless your coming back?) we could do a video conference between you and Will and I, and anyone else who would like to get involved. Just an idea anyways.